FRIENDS CHANGE YOU

Not the rushed catch-ups over coffee or the quick messages in group chats, but proper time together. A few days shared in a new place, where conversations flow more easily, plans are loose, and the focus shifts from “fitting life in” to simply enjoying it.

Recently, I spent a long weekend in Lisbon to celebrate a friend’s 50th. A milestone worth marking properly, and an opportunity to step away from routine and reconnect.

We stayed right in the centre of the city, which turned out to be ideal. Everything felt close and accessible. Rooftop terraces for late afternoon drinks, streets that naturally pulled you from one place to another, and that relaxed feeling of being somewhere unfamiliar but completely at ease.

One of the simplest highlights was getting around the city on Lime scooters.

There’s something slightly playful about it — weaving through streets, stopping when something catches your eye, and covering more ground than you would on foot without losing that sense of being part of the place. It added a sense of freedom and spontaneity to the whole experience.

There was also something important about how safe and easy it felt to wander. Walking home late at night through the city, taking in the atmosphere rather than rushing from place to place, creates a different kind of travel experience.

There’s a sense of freedom in it.

Days were a mix of activity and exploration.

Surfing, which always has a way of humbling you regardless of how many times you’ve done it. A bit of padel, more competitive than expected. And plenty of time just messing about on the beach — no real agenda, just being outside and moving.

There was also something simple but meaningful about getting lost in the city. Walking up towards the castle, not quite sure where we were going, and then stumbling across small cafés and viewpoints that you would never find if you were following a map too closely.

One of those moments turned into a coffee with a dear university friend who was also on the trip. We don't get to see eachother as much as we'd like due to geography, family and generally life getting in the way. It was with him that I got lost around the castle.

And of course, there were meals worth remembering; evening meals at more formal restaurants to the casual beach bars after time in the sea. (Like me, we all need to be kept busy).

Trips like this are a reminder of something quite simple: time with friends creates a different version of ourselves.

As men, it’s easy to let these connections drift slightly into the background. Work, family life, responsibilities and routine all take priority. Before long, months can pass without really spending proper time together.

But when you do get away, something shifts.

You move more. You laugh more. You talk more openly. You remember shared history. You create new memories that sit alongside the old ones.

It doesn’t need to be complicated or structured. It doesn’t need to be a big event. Often, it’s just about saying yes to time away and letting the rest unfold naturally.

What stood out most from Lisbon wasn’t any single activity.

It was the combination of being active, the connections, along with the spontaneity and space.

The same principles we talk about in My Life Tonic in a different context: wellbeing isn’t just about routines or discipline. It’s also about the experiences that bring energy back into our lives.

And interestingly, while the trip was perfect for what it was, there was also a quiet thought that came up along the way: this is a place worth returning to with Shannon as well, to experience a slightly different side of it.

A different kind of connection to the same city.

Because that’s the thing about places — and people.

They offer different experiences depending on how you show up.

And sometimes, the best thing we can do for our wellbeing is simply create more of those moments where we step out of routine, reconnect with others, and remember what it feels like to enjoy life in a more present way.